Clinical psychologist Dr. Debra Kissen, CEO and founder of Light on Anxiety, discusses her background and how a panic attack in college helped shape her focus on evidence-based treatment for anxiety, panic, OCD, and intrusive thoughts. She describes her earlier perfectionism and people-pleasing, her preference for practical approaches over open-ended psychodynamic therapy, and how working closely with anxious clients has left her inspired by human resilience and transformation. The conversation explores how smartphones, social media, and constant stimulation wire teen brains toward immediacy and reduce tolerance for uncertainty.
Dr. Kissen explains how CBT—especially exposure-based therapy—targets core fears and reduces compulsions and safety behaviors (e.g., repeated checking, monitoring children’s locations), including the use of imaginal exposures to help people drop the “illusion of control.” They also discuss teens’ exposure to pornography, the normalization of extreme content, dopamine-seeking tendencies, and the reality of behavioral addictions.
For parents, Dr. Kissen emphasizes assessing observable functioning (school, relationships, health, substance use) rather than reacting to feelings, notes the importance of teen intrinsic motivation, and highlights the modern challenges and power struggles around screen time, including parent coaching and reducing accommodation. The episode touches on concerns about mistakes becoming permanently visible online, the mixed promise and risks of AI as a “pseudo therapist” that tends to please users, and the broader loneliness epidemic despite constant connectivity.
00:00 Meet Dr. Deborah Kisen: Anxiety Expert & CBT Founder
00:29 Parenting Teens + College Transition: Setting the Stage
01:01 Formative Years: Perfectionism, People-Pleasing & Early Anxiety Clues
03:08 A Panic Attack That Changed Everything (and Why CBT Felt Different)
05:12 What Anxiety Work Teaches About Being Human: Resilience & Transformation
07:11 Teens, Tech & the Always-On Brain: How Phones Rewire Expectations
11:38 Immediacy, Uncertainty & the Hamster Wheel of Reassurance
13:39 How CBT Helps You Let Go: Core Fears, Safety Behaviors & Exposure Therapy
18:12 Catastrophizing in Real Time: The Brain’s Ancient Alarm System
21:52 Teens, Porn & Shame-Free Education: Dopamine, Addiction & Healthy Intimacy
27:43 When Parents Should Worry: Normal Teen Moodiness vs Red Flags
28:20 Is It Just Teen Behavior? A Practical Checklist for Parents
30:03 When Teens Won’t Engage: Intrinsic Motivation & Getting Help Early
31:13 Letting Parents Off the Hook: Genetics, Guilt, and the ‘Teenager’ Diagnosis
32:52 Parent Coaching in the Phone Era: Screen-Time Battles & ‘Dropping the Rope’
35:21 The Illusion of Control: Tracking Kids, Allowing Mistakes, Building Resilience
39:48 Modern Risks: Social Media Makes Every Mistake Public
41:45 AI and Mental Health: Productivity Promises vs. ‘Always Pleasing’ Pseudo-Therapy
44:43 The Loneliness Epidemic: Relearning Real-World Connection in Small Moments
48:00 Closing Reflections: Doing the Next Right Thing
https://lightonanxiety.com/staff/dr-debra-kissen/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-kissen-phd-mhsa-8787066a/
