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Balanced Parenting Scorecard

Take a moment to think about this past week. On a scale of 0 (not at all) to 10 (very much so), rate the extent to which you agree with each of the following statements:

I strive to be self-compassionate rather than self-critical.

I can recognize when I am stuck in self judgment and not working toward finding a solution to improve my situation.

I can notice myself having a self-critical thought without believing that judgment represents truth.

I can shift from beating myself up to more effective problem solving.

I can compassionately guide myself through stressful situations.

I can notice when my mind is stuck in negative thinking mode.

When I am stuck in a negative thinking loop, I can disengage from these thoughts and bring my attention back to the present moment.

When I find myself worrying about my child's well-being, I can evaluate the situation logically rather than emotionally.

I feel equipped to challenge unhelpful worry thoughts so I can stay in the moment with my family.

I can distinguish between a true problem to be solved and general life uncertainty to be tolerated.

I can fully engage in the present moment when I spend time with my children.

I can listen and actually hear what my child is expressing as we talk.

I feel connected to my child as we engage in activities together.

Throughout the day, I can notice distracting mental noise and then gently bring my attention back to the current moment.

Even during times of high anxiety and stress, I can remain present with my family.

I can experience reminders of painful moments from my childhood without becoming overwhelmed or avoidant.

Difficult moments from my past do not prevent me from living a full life in the present.

I can separate the difficult moments I had in my childhood from my fears and concerns for my children.

When my child is feeling emotional pain or distress, I can believe in their resilience, rather than feel triggered and overwhelmed by the need to rescue them.

I can differentiate between when I am truly in danger and when my brain is experiencing a false alarm.

I can calm myself down and cool off my emotional temperature when I feel stressed, frustrated or anxious.

During stressful parenting moments I can take the time to first calm myself down and then choose how to proceed, rather than letting my emotional reactions call the shots.

I am aware of and can predict which parenting situations are most likely to stress me out and cause me to feel out of control.

I proactively plan for how I will try to calm myself down in common stressful parenting situations.

I am proud of how I model self-regulation for my children, even during life's stressful moments.

I strive to choose my battles with my child carefully, based on our family values and the aspects of life that are nonnegotiable.

I can recognize when my attempts at controlling the uncontrollable are backfiring, causing tension in my relationship with my child.

I understand and accept that as much as I care about my child and want to protect them from experiencing any harm or suffering, there is only so much I can control about how their life will unfold.

I strive to reserve my parenting energy for maximizing meaningful interactions with my child rather than attempting to control my child.

I believe in my child's resilience and ability to handle life's obstacles, even if their path forward is not exactly the same path I would have chosen for them.

Making time for myself and my own needs is a priority in my life.

I can give time and attention to my children's activities and interests, while also giving time and attention to my own activities and interests.

I strive to engage in behaviors and activities that align with my values and priorities.

Every day I make the time to reenergize with moments (big or small) of relaxation, enjoyment, or connection with something I truly care aobut.

My child (or other family members) could tell you what my personal values and interests are.

I am an imperfect parent, and that is okay with me.

When faced with a seemingly impossible parenting to-do, I can take small action steps to address the situation, instead of avoiding due to fear of messing up or being judged.

I am allowed to make mistakes.

I accept "good enough" living over perfection, which leaves me with more time to be present and enjoy the moment with my family.

I know that doing my best (whatever my best may look like on any given day) is good enough for myself, my partner and my children.

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