You want to raise a child who is connected—to their values, their community, their curiosity—not just to WiFi. But in today’s screen-saturated world, the line between “staying connected” and “losing touch” gets blurry fast. And nothing will shut a kid down quicker than, “Get off your phone!” yelled from behind your own glowing screen.
If you’re feeling stuck between wanting to set limits and not wanting to become the screen police, you’re not alone. Here are the top dos and don’ts when it comes to raising a child who is engaged with the world around them—without igniting daily tech warfare.
❌ DON’T: Yell, “Get off your phone!” while scrolling on yours.
✅ DO: Model mindful tech use.
Kids learn more from your actions than your lectures. Try narrating your own boundaries (“I’m putting my phone away while we eat—this is our no-scroll zone”), and invite them into those rhythms with you.
❌ DON’T: Demand they go outside or call a friend while you lounge on the couch.
✅ DO: Show what engaged living looks like.
Take that drumming class you’ve always wanted to try. Start a small garden. Read a novel on the couch instead of your emails. Let your child see you be curious, lit up, and even a little awkward as you try something new. This is what inspired living looks like.
❌ DON’T: Block every app or cut them off from how their peers communicate.
✅ DO: Stay curious about their digital life.
Ask questions, not just for control—but for connection. “What’s funny on TikTok this week?” goes further than “No more TikTok.” Disconnection from peers can be more harmful than the platform itself.
❌ DON’T: Live in a state of constant power struggle or app-blocking whack-a-mole.
✅ DO: Lead with collaboration over control.
Instead of new punishments or tracking tools, co-create screen boundaries that work for everyone. “What’s one screen-free window we can all agree on?” is a much better conversation starter than a new app ban.
❌ DON’T: Expect change without offering something better.
✅ DO: Anchor your family with consistent, meaningful rituals.
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Sunday Night Game Night
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Thursday “You Pick the Menu” Dinner (and no clean-up duty!)
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Walk-and-Talk Saturdays
Screens lose their pull when real-life connection is more rewarding.
❌ DON’T: Chase perfection—yours or theirs.
✅ DO: Embrace perfectly imperfect living.
Let your child see you mess up, laugh it off, try again. Show them that real joy isn’t found in a flawless social media post—it’s in showing up, being human, and trying anyway.
Technology isn’t the enemy. Disconnection is.
The goal isn’t to raise kids who fear technology—it’s to raise kids who don’t need it to feel whole. And that starts with us living engaged, meaningful lives right alongside them.
