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Coping with Secondary Trauma: Navigating Empathy and Uncertainty During the California Fires

By Debra Kissen

The recent California fires have been a heartbreaking tragedy, leaving many of us grappling with feelings of helplessness and sorrow as we witness the devastating toll on lives, homes, and communities. For those of us fortunate enough not to be directly affected, the pain we feel from the sidelines is a natural human response. We are wired for empathy, and it’s common to experience the suffering of others as though it were our own.

Beyond empathy, you might find your brain imagining: What would I do in such a situation? How would I cope if my life was upended in an instant? What would I grab from my home if I had only minutes to choose? Could I find the strength to move forward, or would I be consumed by fear? These are natural thoughts, driven by our brain’s desire to prepare for and control the uncontrollable.

While we cannot prevent natural disasters, we can take steps to prepare and build resilience. Here are tips to help you manage both the practical and emotional challenges posed by disasters, as well as to recognize and resist unhelpful compulsions that arise from uncertainty.

Practical Steps for Preparedness

  1. Consolidate Important Documents: Store essential items—like birth certificates, passports, insurance papers, and medical records—in a single, easily accessible location. Consider digital backups for added security.
  2. Ensure Adequate Insurance Coverage: Review your homeowners or renters insurance to ensure it includes coverage for natural disasters common in your area. Don’t forget to document your belongings for insurance claims.
  3. Create a Grab-and-Go Kit: Prepare a kit with essential items such as water, non-perishable food, medications, flashlights, chargers, and basic first aid supplies.
  4. Maintain Updated Contact Lists: Have the contact information for loved ones, medical providers, and emergency services readily available. Store this both digitally and on paper.
  5. Develop a Family Emergency Plan: Outline what to do and where to go in case of evacuation. Practice drills to ensure everyone in your household feels confident about the plan.

Recognizing and Resisting Unhealthy Compulsions

It’s common for the brain to seek control during uncertain times, sometimes leading to compulsive or safety behaviors that offer only temporary relief. Here are five common behaviors to watch for and healthier alternatives to focus on:

Common Compulsions or Safety Behaviors

  1. Excessive News Monitoring: Constantly refreshing news feeds can increase anxiety rather than provide comfort.
  2. Over-Planning: Spending hours obsessively planning for every possible scenario can create more stress than it alleviates.
  3. Hoarding Supplies: Accumulating excessive amounts of emergency supplies may stem from fear rather than practicality.
  4. Avoidance of Conversations About Risk: Ignoring or avoiding discussions about potential risks can leave you feeling more unprepared.
  5. Seeking Reassurance: Continuously asking others if “everything will be okay” can reinforce feelings of helplessness.

What You Can Control

  1. Set News Boundaries: Limit your consumption of news to specific times each day, focusing on reputable sources.
  2. Plan Realistically: Create a practical plan for emergencies without getting bogged down in “what-ifs.”
  3. Prepare Mindfully: Stock reasonable amounts of emergency supplies based on expert recommendations.
  4. Engage in Open Conversations: Discuss potential risks and plans with loved ones to build a sense of teamwork and preparedness.
  5. Focus on Gratitude and the Present Moment: Acknowledge the steps you’ve taken to prepare, and practice grounding techniques to manage feelings of overwhelm.

Moving Forward with Empathy and Action

While we may not be able to control the path of natural disasters, we can choose how we respond to them. Taking steps to channel empathy into meaningful action not only helps others but also empowers us. Whether through donations, volunteering, or supporting those directly impacted, small acts of kindness can create ripples of hope during times of crisis.

Let’s acknowledge the grief and secondary trauma we feel as valid, yet also recognize our capacity to prepare, cope, and contribute. Together, we can face uncertainty with resilience and compassion.

Dr. Debra Kissen is a licensed clinical psychologist and the CEO and founder of Light On Anxiety CBT Treatment Centers....

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