Parenting is often described as one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences, but for many parents, worry and anxiety overshadow the joy. Why does it feel so difficult to stay calm and make clear decisions, especially when your child is distressed? How can you maintain your emotional and mental well-being during parenting challenges?
According to Dr. Debra Kissen, an internationally recognized anxiety expert and author, the parent brain is wired for survival, attuning deeply to a child’s emotions through empathy and mirror neurons. While essential for bonding, this connection can amplify anxiety when parents feel their child’s distress as their own. The result is a cycle of heightened emotions where both parent and child struggle to cope effectively. By understanding this wiring and implementing tools for emotional regulation, parents can disrupt the cycle, build confidence, and guide their children through challenges while remaining calm.
In this episode of The Coping Podcast, Dr. Leigh Weisz speaks with Dr. Debra Kissen, CEO and Founder of Light On Anxiety Treatment Centers, about overcoming parental anxiety by rewiring the brain. They explore how to identify and manage emotional triggers, practical tools for staying calm in stressful moments, and strategies for fostering self-compassion as a parent. Dr. Kissen also shares advice on relinquishing control and finding more joy in everyday parenting.
Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:
- [03:08] Dr. Debra Kissen explains why she wrote a book about overcoming parental anxiety
- [06:49] Why parents are wired to expect danger
- [11:56] The anxiety cycle between parents and children
- [17:46] Calming techniques to manage stress effectively
- [22:41] Ways to practice self-compassion and reduce critical self-talk
- [28:13] The value of being present with your child
- [31:57] Releasing the grip of past experiences on current parenting
- [38:11] How to relinquish control to improve parent-child relationships
In this episode…
Parenting is often described as one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences, but for many parents, worry and anxiety overshadow the joy. Why does it feel so difficult to stay calm and make clear decisions, especially when your child is distressed? How can you maintain your emotional and mental well-being during parenting challenges?
According to Dr. Debra Kissen, an internationally recognized anxiety expert and author, the parent brain is wired for survival, attuning deeply to a child’s emotions through empathy and mirror neurons. While essential for bonding, this connection can amplify anxiety when parents feel their child’s distress as their own. The result is a cycle of heightened emotions where both parent and child struggle to cope effectively. By understanding this wiring and implementing tools for emotional regulation, parents can disrupt the cycle, build confidence, and guide their children through challenges while remaining calm.
In this episode of The Coping Podcast, Dr. Leigh Weisz speaks with Dr. Debra Kissen, CEO and Founder of Light On Anxiety Treatment Centers, about overcoming parental anxiety by rewiring the brain. They explore how to identify and manage emotional triggers, practical tools for staying calm in stressful moments, and strategies for fostering self-compassion as a parent. Dr. Kissen also shares advice on relinquishing control and finding more joy in everyday parenting.
Resources Mentioned in this episode
- Dr. Leigh Weisz on LinkedIn
- Coping Partners
- The Coping Podcast
- Dr. Debra Kissen on LinkedIn
- Light On Anxiety Treatment Centers
- Overcoming Parental Anxiety: Rewire Your Brain to Worry Less and Enjoy Parenting More by Dr. Debra Kissen, Micah Ioffe PhD, and Hannah Romain LCSW
- The Panic Workbook for Teens: Breaking the Cycle of Fear, Worry, and Panic Attacks by Dr. Debra Kissen, Bari Goldman Cohen PhD, and Kathi F. Abitbol PhD
- Rewire Your Anxious Brain for Teens: Using CBT, Neuroscience, and Mindfulness to Help You End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry (The Instant Help Solutions Series) by Dr. Debra Kissen, Ashley D. Kendal, Michelle Lozano, and Micah Ioffe
Related Episodes
- “Parent Guide To Helping Your Anxious Child (Plus Magic Tip To Avoid 3 Hours of Tuck in Time)” with Dr. Eli Lebowitz on The Coping Podcast
- “The Importance of Neuropsychological Assessments for Children With Dr. Lisa Novak” on The Coping Podcast
- “Creating Healthy Eating Habits for Kids With Lara Field of FEED Nutrition Consulting” on The Coping Podcast
Quotable Moments:
- “Our brain thinks we need to fight or flee, but a slow breath sends a signal: I’m okay.”
- “Parenting is a job where moments of joy are possible, but not guaranteed.”
- “You have the answers within; you don’t need any experts to really guide you.”
- “It’s not just you; parenting is complicated and you’re feeling for two.”
- “By assuming danger, our brains are helpful for survival, but not for peace of mind.”
Action Steps:
- Practice mindful breathing: Incorporate mindful breathing techniques, such as square breathing, to regulate emotions in high-stress parenting situations. This approach helps calm the nervous system and allows parents to respond more effectively to their child’s distress without becoming overwhelmed.
- Cultivate self-compassion: Be mindful of your inner dialogue and replace self-critical thoughts with kinder, more balanced perspectives. This self-compassion reduces parental stress and helps maintain a healthier, more positive outlook on parenting challenges.
- Set realistic expectations and pick battles wisely: Identify the most crucial areas where control is necessary for your child’s safety and well-being, and allow for flexibility in less critical areas. This method focuses energy on important aspects of parenting, reducing unnecessary power struggles and increasing effectiveness.
- Create short bursts of presence: Dedicate small periods of time, like two minutes, to give your child undivided attention, setting aside distractions. This consistent practice can enhance parent-child connections, making both parties feel more valued and understood.
- Reflect on past experiences: Use journaling or reflection to understand and address how your past experiences might be affecting your current parenting style. This reflection can help identify emotional triggers and enable more thoughtful and less reactive parenting decisions.
